Roots ~ Audrey

They say your roots are part of your personality. They shape who you are. The way your parents went about life, the environment you grew up in. Your earliest experiences are your most important ones. I never really realised before, just how true this is. I guess you never can see the patterns in your behaviour, until they are laid out in front of you. As of the past year or so, I have always been one to be very sensitive about my image, whether it be my body image or personality. I've always just kind of accepted this along with my quirks and such just as something fate decided to drop on me. But, as I've come to realise, it's your past that shapes your future. Concerning my body image towards myself , I recently learned that from a very young age, my curiosity for everything made me extremely self conscious,  and my early childhood companions sparked an idea that would later come back to haunt me, big time. Starting at the age of 4 or so, snacks and portions of lunches would come home with me from preschool, untouched. That was a pattern that would rapidly increase over the years. Sometimes, as a child, I would refuse food to the point of creating a fake allergy to multiple foods. Neither my parents or me saw any indications of any warning signs. But, I'm going to disagree with myself. Why should our past so drastically shape our future? It may be psychologically proven but I will still disagree. Early childhood may be long gone but, for the most part I've barely begun my life. I think our actions now, is the stuff that really matters. The battles with ourselves or other things, fought and won. Or the neglect, days simply passing by. Even the most mundane days, full of sadness or joy. We write our own stories. And no one should be able to change that.

~ Audrey